


Into the Abyss

by valderys



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Angst, Community: apocalyptothon, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-09
Updated: 2010-09-09
Packaged: 2017-10-11 15:02:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/113690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valderys/pseuds/valderys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone should stay and pay tribute. Six billion vulcans died on that day. So someone does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Into the Abyss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [katemonkey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/katemonkey/gifts).



> Written for the prompt 'the lone Vulcan studying the black hole that was once home'.

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.54 _  
The second moon of T'Khul, more popularly known as Hephaestus, was fully absorbed by the expanding corona of the singularity today. This means that only Delta Vega, the gas giant Soval, and the Small Sisters are left of the Vulcan system, 40 Eridani in galactic denomination. I calculate that it will take another 2.8 light hours for Hephaestus to be completely absorbed, although, of course, it has now passed beyond range of my visual sensors. I will continue to monitor the emission of gamma waves and other particles indicating the changing state of the singularity, and Hephaestus' progress.

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.57_  
The safety valve on the oxygen regeneration tank became stuck again. This ship is small and old, and although I do what maintenance I can without compromising my mission, there are nevertheless going to be faults. I considered what the logical response might be to the situation and then I hit the valve with an appropriately large wrench. The red blinking light went out.

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.63 _  
The last equipment from the research base on the moon, T'Pas, has been retrieved with the aid of drones. While realising such retrieval is not strictly within my mission parameters, the possibility that a spare valve might be forthcoming, or other useful items that would prolong the time before re-supply becomes necessary, made it seem worth the attempt. Walking the base, suited, as it is currently without atmosphere, due to the said stripping of equipment, was an illogical experience. I could not help but remember other occasions in the working life of this base. When a dozen vulcans could be found here, two billionth parts of the whole. Knowing I am the only vulcan left here in the star system that gave us birth, and my lone physical form represents much more than two billionths of the population was...

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.68_   
My re-supply ship has a human captain. It is likely that he could be considered to be eccentric, even for one of his kind. He named my drones Huey, Dewey and Louie, and then laughed uproariously. It was most illogical. After his ship departed I had a curious urge to discover the origins of the names, but do not quite see the relevance of three immature cartoon birds. No doubt Captain Mudd has his reasons.

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.72_  
A ship warped into the system at 21.23 hours.

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.73_   
Delta Vega is next to be absorbed into the singularity. The time of year meant that it has had a reprieve from Vulcan's fate until now, despite sharing a close orbit. The planet's weather patterns and other indicators have all been affected however, as expected, due to the gravitic effects throughout the system as a whole, and more recently, the absorption of T'Khul and its moons. Indeed, even 40 Eridani's sunspot activity has increased, which was not predicted for another 68 days. Such chances to study the effects of a singularity on an inhabited planetary system are rare, which may explain the anomalies. I continue to monitor and record all readings, for further study at a later period.

Sensors indicate the ship contains a lone vulcan. My mission is too important for distraction however. I shall not initiate communication.

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.74 _  
The native lifeforms on Delta Vega are tough and adaptable, due to the harsh environment and changing climate. Even with the aid of Huey, Dewey and Louie, I do not know if I can retrieve enough genetic samples to provide an accurate representation of the ecosystem. Delta Vega has been a sister planet to Vulcan for millions of years, and yet the records of its species are incomplete. The contents of the Vulcan Science academy were reported to have been retrieved, and yet despite this I have already discovered many invertebrates, including three members of the blattaria order, that were unknown to Vulcan science. Huey is presently searching for an elusive mammal, apparently a smaller relative of the drakoulias, that was caught on its sensors for 1.3 seconds. The image appears to correspond to no known native species of Delta Vega.

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.74 Supplemental_  
The other vulcan has made no move to open hailing frequencies. This is most illogical. Study of the ship has identified it as belonging to one Ambassador Spock, presently displaced in time and universe. Returning to the scene of his crime, Captain Mudd termed it, when I routed my identification request via his ship's com system. Human emotional responses make for colourful idiom, I have discovered.

The irony that it is he, of all vulcans, is not lost upon me.

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.75_  
It is illogical to continue in this silence. Although I have no need of aid or company besides the drones, yesterday evening I noticed that I was unconsciously addressing drone 2 as Dewey while I gave it instructions. Such behaviour is also most illogical, even more so than the whimsical impulse that led me to name the drones in my personal log. I fear contact with Captain Mudd has affected my better judgement, and that conversation with another rational mind can only be beneficial.

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.76_  
Ambassador Spock is a fascinating interlocutor. Although the connection suffered some degradation in its signal due to the various radiations spewing from the singularity, nevertheless we spoke on several scientific topics for over an hour. Such frivolous pursuits will not further me in my mission however, so at the end of that time I cut the connection.

I do not know why Ambassador Spock is here.

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.77_  
Huey was successful in retrieving an example of the specimen that was glimpsed three days ago. Unfortunately it is not a new species, but instead an immature member of the hengrauggi. They have a fascinating life-cycle, and I requested Huey to bring the specimen, and any others it was able to recover, to me on board the 'Yggdrasil'.

I asked Captain Mudd about the etymology of my vessel's name once - it is not of Vulcan origin. He said it meant 'world-tree', and at the time I thought it a most peculiarly inappropriate name for such as I, a lowly miner, grubbing among the Small Sisters for what I could wrest from their cold dead grasp. But perhaps it is not so inappropriate now.

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.78_  
There was an instability in one of the dilithium crystals during my sleep cycle. The ship is old and can only be repaired a finite number of times. Proximity to the singularity also places great strain upon its systems. I am pleased that the alarm woke me however and that I was able to replace the crystal in time, before there was any other damage. It was the last remaining spare, and I do not have sufficient funds to buy another from Captain Mudd.

Although my time has become even more limited I nevertheless answered Ambassador Spock's hail. It is a pointless activity, as already stated, but I discovered my equilibrium was disturbed after the incident with the dilithium crystal. I must send a communication to the manufacturing arm of Plexicorp regarding the transparent aluminium used in the windows of the 'Yggdrasil'. I do not believe that it is meant to dent when force is exerted at high speed, from, for example, a fist. In emergency situations, it is a flaw that could be considered unsafe.

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.79_  
All becomes clear. Ambassador Spock wishes to dissuade me from continuing my mission. He has iterated several reasons why he believes my on-going presence in this system to be hazardous to my continued existence. All are flawlessly logical and yet I find I do not... accept them. Ambassador Spock begins his skein of impeccable logic from a flawed premise, and therefore he is inaccurate in his conclusions. Rather like the anomalies in the reading from the singularity, this is a unique stellar event, in every way. Ambassador Spock, of all vulcans, can never be told precisely how flawed his premise is. _I_ can never tell him.

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.80_  
I have done further research into the origins of the names Huey, Dewey and Louie. I have reason to believe that Captain Mudd did not, in fact, mean to indicate juvenile waterfowl, but instead was referencing an obscure human entertainment drama of a similar period entitled 'Silent Running'. It was obscure even before the Eugenic Wars, which might perhaps explain its survival, although not Captain Mudd's interest in it.

I wish to acknowledge him here, at last, in my personal journal, if nowhere else. Harry Mudd has been an excellent... friend to me. A miner's existence is a solitary one, and his visits and exasperating conversation have always enlivened my duties. I appreciate his nomenclature for my drones, even though I do not believe that I have been as successful in saving living species as the protagonist, Freeman Lowell. It was, nevertheless, a... kind thought of Harry's. To those who may retrieve the data recorder of the 'Yggdrasil', I would ask only that you pass my good wishes on.

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.81_  
I have asked Ambassador Spock to leave. I have requested that he take my readings, and my samples, and my rescued organisms before the event horizon of the singularity interferes significantly with his warp drive too. Yet instead he persists in trying to converse with me. He does not understand, and of course, I may not explain.

He used an argument today that held me silent. He said that my genetic contributions to the vulcan race should not be wasted. That there were not enough of us left and that I should not be so selfish.

I was silent because I did not know what to say. Not because it is an incorrect statement - I had already considered it, naturally, and some of the genetic material in the sample cases is my own. It was more that he is the first to articulate it properly. The only other intelligent being here. It is as though Vulcan has been sucked away into nothingness, into radiation and an unknowable existence, six billion people wiped out... And logic means that no-one is here to acknowledge it, to save what else there is to be saved, to study or gain _anything_ at all from the tragedy. Only myself.

I sometimes wonder whether we vulcans elevate logic beyond all sense or reason. Feelings are not eliminated, after all, merely suppressed. But for how long?

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.82_  
Ambassador Spock has told me that he refuses to go. He is elderly and his own genetic material is replicated in Commander Spock. He is of no use in this universe, as it is bound on a different journey to the one he remembers, and he wishes to keep me company into death, if that is my chosen path.

I confess, I became agitated, before I cut the connection. Spock has no need to do this, there is no reason why he should. My mission is for me alone. I am not answerable for Spock's actions, and yet he has made me so, and I find that decision hard to grasp. Logic is difficult in the face of my own overwhelming anger, and I am ashamed.

My choices should be my own. My people have all died, as I should have. As _she_ did. I do not want this responsibility.

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.83_  
Spock has sent me a message. The light on the console blinked at me for a long while before I accessed it. He has sent me the words of Surak. A mantra learned as a child, 'it is more logical to heal than kill'. I wish I could find the humour in his obvious manipulation of my logic, and my feelings too. I wish I could declare, as I might have mere days ago, that I do not know what he means.

Unfortunately, I do not have that luxury. Spock's interference has revealed my motives to me. He has held up a mirror and I am found wanting. I _am_ prepared to kill, if only myself, and I am not prepared to heal. To live long enough to begin healing.

Although it is logical enough, which is something. I do not want to face eternity without her.

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.83 Supplemental_  
She talked about him sometimes, you know. Spock. Talked about his academic achievements, his rejection of the Science Academy, his Star Fleet career. I never took it as criticism of my own lesser achievements, although I could have. She didn't mean it like that. Talking about these things was her way of criticising him, she was oblique in that way, and far more clever than I. He was never there for her, that was her meaning, and I took it for comfort. I tried not to be resentful of him, in turn, but I fear I could not be as magnanimous. She was my better half, in all things. She still is. I wonder what she would desire me to do?

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 2259.84_  
I would like to state, for the record, that I am taking my present course of action only after considerable meditation upon the problem. The singularity in the Vulcan system will always be here, even if certain features within the system, such as planets, will not. I can always return to fulfil my mission at a later date. I have therefore decided that if Spock makes his continued existence my responsibility then logically it falls to me to ensure its continuation, or I will potentially be guilty of murder.

My warp core is slowly being overloaded, and my remaining dilithium crystals are beginning to decrystallize, but I have enough power for this. I am a miner, solitary, taciturn, perhaps even stolid. I have few words of beauty or power. I never knew what she saw in me to love, but she did so, and I loved her in return. There would have been obstacles ahead of us, to our continuing relationship, but I would have overcome them. She trusted me to do so. I am a miner, and there are traits that we all share - I am persistent, dogged even. I will make my way into, through, or around any obstruction, until I am satisfied.

Vulcan's murderer, Nero, was of my trade, and that makes me doubly ashamed. But I will save, where he would only kill, and that proves me more truly Vulcan than I knew.

The power from my drilling rig can be diverted to the tractor beam, and rigged to tow Spock's ship. It is strange in design, but not so large in mass - 'Yggdrasil' can manage it. We shall both yet live.

_Captain's Log Stardate 2259.84_  
The 'Jellyfish' has been towed from the danger area of the singularity's event horizon, and Ambassador Spock recovered to the safety of Starbase 245. The 'Yggdrasil' is undergoing much needed repairs. Captain Mudd is on board and to my chagrin cannot yet be persuaded to leave…

_To: VHC Yggdrasil, Captain Stonn commanding  
From: Ambassador Spock_  
T'Pring would have been proud of you.


End file.
